Post by matthewkeegan on Mar 30, 2015 4:10:09 GMT -5
Hello, my name is Victor, i'm 23 years old from Romania, Europe, and i came here today to share my story. So it all started on April last year, i was in my last year of college when utterly bad images and thoughts crossed my mind about God and people. I used to be a typical young adult, drink a lot of alcohol, sleep with men and just didn't care about anything but i always prayed at night since i was 15 years old. One day a friend of mine asked me if i ever got tested for hiv and recommended me to get tested just in case, i was in denial at first thinking that there is no way i would have it since i'm careful. I started to get some familiar symptoms and decided to eventually get tested, I had some really drank thoughts during the wait period, after a day or two the results came back and the tests were negative. But paranoia in my head started to take over, and i got tested for hiv about 3 times just last year, which luckily all came out negative. But since April last year, my dark thoughts about God and people started to increase, i was under a lot of stress because of my finals coming up and the fear of having an STD, i was spiritually and mentally incapable of dealing with everyday tasks without a horrible though or image in my head. I won't go into details, but there were sexual images about God and Christ and other saints, i feel so ashamed to even talk about this, and the worst part was that i couldn't talk to anyone about this, i told my friends but they didn't quite knew how to help me. In August last year i went to church to confess my sins, and told the priest my problems, he was kind enough to give me his phone number and call him whenever a bad imagine or thought tormented me again to give him a call. I prayed every night, asking God to make these bad thoughts go away, and on January 1st 2015 they just faded, of course there are days when i have them but now i can usually black them. In my opinion, i do believe Satan tried to take over me and mess with my head, because these images just came out of nowhere, he tried to attack me at my lowest point, because there were nights when i stopped praying just so i wouldn't think about bad images about God. I do believe i got saved by the Lord. My family believes in God but they barely go to church, so i am pretty new at being a Christian, i don't know exactly what to do, i was hoping to find people where i can share my problems with and help them in their time of need, i'm pretty much a loner you could say, and even though i was found, i don't want to get lost again.
