From: Manager Rev. Jim
Sent: 9/9/2003 11:54 AM
Hi PlatonicNice,
I know several people who are going through exactly the same thing that you are going through, and I have nothing but sympathy for the difficulty of your predicament. I know also that, no matter how I answer you, there will be someone to say I am wrong. But since you have asked ME, all I can do is tell you what I personally believe according to the Scriptures.
The answer to your question actually lies in the type of relationship you have with the Lord. There are MANY gay and lesbian people who SAY they are Christian, but their walk with the Lord usually only consists of a quick prayer now and then and maybe a visit to church.
However, according to Scripture, a true believer is one who has completely sold himself out to the Lord, who has put the will of God FIRST in every action of his life, putting his wants, needs and desires aside to fulfill the wants, needs, desires and commands of God.
Many gay "Christians" would insist that, now that you are fully aware of your homosexuality, you should immediately leave your wife and find a man. However, that is their FLESH speaking, not the Spirit of God. If you have utterly given your life over to Christ, then you will understand that holiness and obedience must come before what we FEEL is right, no matter how strong that feeling is.
When a man marries a wife, he has entered into a sacred and holy covenant, which Jesus Himself and Paul said was breakable only by death or adultery or if the other spouse is a non-believer. The Word of God is very strict when it comes to issues of compromise, and it gives no leeway in matters of ignorance (that is, if a man marries a woman, the realization of one's homosexuality after the marriage is not a biblically valid excuse for divorce). Marriage is not a covenant that can be handled lightly. A CHRISTIAN cannot say, "Oops, I made a mistake." Once a Christian man has physically joined with his wife, they have created a non-disolvable, permanent bond.
Try to look at it from a heterosexual man's point of view. After he has taken a wife and later discovers that he desires, or is in love, with another woman, is he then at liberty to leave his wife for the other woman? Of course not. By marrying one particular woman, he has made his committment for life, "foresaking ALL OTHERS until death". The Word of God says that, what God has joined together, let no man - including the husband - tear apart. This does not change because of sexual orientation. Marriage is for life. One man, one mate, and that's it.
Bear in mind also that, by leaving your wife, you will be destroying the hopes and dreams and life of your wife, and the lives of your children. You could also possibly bring about the down fall of their faith, if they are believers in Christ (it happens quite often).
Therefore you are left with these choices:
1) Foresake the Lord and your wife to do whatever you want to do instead
2) Be faithful to the Lord and your wife, praying that the Lord will give you the ability and strength to continue to love your wife in the way a husband should, IN SPITE of how you feel.
God is eternally merciful and He can and will give you the power to be faithful. God does not give the command without the ability to obey.
Weigh the cost and consequences of your choice. Which answer do you think GOD would have you choose? In this matter you must let your SPIRIT choose - not your flesh, heart or mind. Seek, without ceasing, the direction of the Holy Spirit of God, and he will not fail you. The Lord has promised to lift and lighten burdens, and you must trust Him to do so, especially in the most difficult situations. God is not cruel. He knows and understands how you feel, and He cares. Nevertheless, as a holy God and a righteous father, He requires obedience in His Household, even if that means that He must grieve with you at the unfulfillment of your desire. God is no respector of persons, therefore He is unable to bend or break His Law for anyone, even if He wanted to.
We are Christians, ambassadors of the Kingdom of God. By definition this means that we will have extraordinary and difficult choices to make in life. So you must decide what an ambassador of God would do in this situation, and then act upon it.
May God give you great grace and favor,
Rev. Jim
