Post by Rev. Jim Cunningham on Nov 19, 2008 3:06:23 GMT -5
From: Manager Rev. Jim (Original Message) Sent: 6/22/2005 7:34 AM
Brothers and Sisters,
From time to time I like to share with our group emails that I have received and responded to that I believe may help others out there who might be stuggling with the same, or similar issue. Here is another such email. For the sake of the author's privacy, his name has been changed to "Adam". If you have any comment, insight or input, you know we are all ears.
May Jesus our Savior lift you up and give you peace,
Rev. Jim
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Rev. Jim
Greetings,
First, thanks for taking the time to put up so much great information on your site. I learned a lot and I am sure I will be referring back to it often. I have a question for you...
Is creating an abomination the same as blasphemy?
I accepted Christ at a young age. Got married (thought it was the right thing to do) and spiraled down from there. I am now in the steps to bring my life back on track, but have I through constant fornication created an unpardonable sin? Can God forgive me for in essence turning my back on Him when I should have known better?
Thanks, Adam
Hi Adam,
It's so great to hear from you, and it means a lot to me to know that GayChristianSurvivors.com has helped you in some way. About your questions......
Abomination and blasphemy are two different things. An abomination is something that is particularly "offensive" to God, such as human sacrifices. Blasphemy is a direct verbal assault against God or His Word, such as mocking God or saying vile things about God or tampering with the Scriptures. Jesus tells us that ALL sins, ALL abominations and ALL blasphemies are forgivable.....except one: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit cannot be forgiven in this life nor in the life to come. The Bible indicates the following as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit:
To lie specifically to the Holy Spirit
To specifically accuse the Holy Spirit of wickedness
To specifically attribute an evil identity to the Holy Spirit
To speak evil specifically of the Holy Spirit
To add or delete any words to or from the Scriptures
God does not consider being angry at Him, disrespecting Him, or disobeying Him as blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Those are serious sins, to be sure. But a person really has to go out of their way to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, such as when the Pharisees accused Jesus of having an "evil spirit" - and since the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Jesus, they blasphemed the Holy Spirit. But bear in mind that those Pharisees KNEW that Jesus was righteous and that He did not have an evil spirit. They outright blasphemed, with all willful intent, the Holy Spirit which dwelt in Jesus. If you are even worried that you might have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, then you DIDN'T, because if you had, you wouldn't care. The Holy Spirit would have left you and you would have no desire to seek and do His will.
Committing fornication - no matter how many times you did it - is not blasphemy, and it certainly is not the unpardonable sin, which is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Fornication is sin, and all sins are punishable by damnation whether you told a white lie or you committed mass murder. But when Jesus died on the cross, He took your sin AND your punishment upon Himself so that you are now CLEAN of the sin. And now, whenever you sin, you can go to the Father and seek forgiveness for any sin through belief in Jesus' sacrifice for you. Now, of course, that isn't a license to keep on sinning. God expects you to not only confess your sin to Him, but to REPENT of that sin. "Repent" means "to turn back from". That is, to STOP doing it.
However, the Lord also knows you PERSONALLY and He knows your situation. He knows where you've come from, He knows what you have suffered, and He knows your desires. When we continue to commit a certain sin, like fornication, God takes into account everything He knows about you and is able to grant you mercy and He is able to be patient with you. You may think you're an adult, but you will always be the Father's baby boy, and He adores you because you loved His Son and believed His Gospel! Since you fear the Lord, as everyone ought to, you will be urged by the Holy Spirit to stop fornicating. That is what a good Father does. This is what you are feeling when you start to feel guilty before God about your sin. It is the Lord's way of bringing it to your attention - not to beat you over the head with it and scream "look what you did, you filthy scum!" - but so that He can express His pain for what you did against Him and so that the sin can be dealt with and washed away. There is more involved that just STOPPING fornication. There is an underlying reason WHY you continue to fornicate, and THIS is the area the Holy Spirit wants to target and heal. You cannot be saved by doing certain deeds, and therefore you cannot be saved by CEASING to do certain deeds. Your salvation is completely based on faith in Jesus. However, you are the Temple of the Holy Spirit, and He requires a clean throne room. You wont be saved just because you stopped fornicating. Any heathen can stop fornicating. But do you really want the Holy Spirit to come to you - His temple - and find it desecrated with filth? Of course not. And He's not gonna stick around and live in a filthy home, either.
Here's some tips to help you avoid fornication:
Dump those pornos! A believer has no business filling his mind with sexual images of other nude people who are not his spouse. Your genitals are called "privates" for a reason - it is the private place for your mate, the one place in all the world that is his secret, private place. Besides, why would you want to have something like that around which will only tempt you further?
Avoid tempting scenerios! If you know that you're probably going to go home with someone from a bar or night club, then don't go. If you want to go out to dance and maybe have a drink or two, go with friends so that the focus is on having fun with them, and not on getting laid. Steer clear of places that you know the Lord would disapprove of. Rule of thumb: if your traditional great grandma would be disgusted by the place, more than likely so will God.
Do not be alone in private with someone that you know there's a chance that you might sleep with. Keep your relationship faithful by staying in public or by having other friends around. If the two of you think you would like to be "more than friends", do not set yourself up to be tempted to go beyond low key intimacy, such as kissing and hand holding. "Petting" is NOT acceptable. Petting is simply foreplay - arousing each other - which is reserved for your marriage union only. Only fools think they can start the launch sequence and not blast off!
Watch your mouth. What you say and what you listen to can also lead you where you should not go. Refrain from filthy conversations.
Masturbation. This is the all time biggest debate issue. All I can do is tell you what I personally believe on this point. The Bible says virtually NOTHING about it. There was a man named Onan in the Bible who was required by God to father a child with a woman, but the Bible says he did not want to be the father and so he pulled out of her at the last moment and ejaculated on the ground. God struck him dead for not creating that child. This had nothing to do with masturbation. Personally, I am in FAVOR of masturbation as an extremely effective way to prevent fornication. Enjoying sexual stimulation, in and of itself, is NOT a sin. If you are masturbating simply for the pleasure and the sexual release, I do not believe it is sin. What IS sin, however, is what goes on in your mind while you are doing it! Jesus said that what you lust after (fantasize about) in your heart and mind is the EQUIVILLANT to doing it physically. So, if you need to masturbate, focus on your hand, on your genitals, on the sensations, and (if you have one) your mate- and do NOT focus on anyone else.
If you are feeling aroused or become aroused and this could lead to fornication - leave immediately. Do not torture yourself by being in such an extremely tempting situation. Once you are aroused there is a CHEMICAL REACTION taking place in your body and this can OVER-RIDE good judgment. The body is programed and designed BY GOD to initiate sexual contact when it has been aroused to the point of chemical firing. It is not a conscious function of the body. It only knows that it's sexual systems have been activated, and it will seek to reach orgasm whether you want to or not. This can literally BLIND your sense of morals - and yes, even get you to force God out of your mind - because the body automatically assumes you are being aroused by your MATE!
In addition, the Lord provides you many tips and instructions to cope with tempations of fornication. God does not require you to marry IF you can refrain from fornication, but He has provided marriage as the outlet for your sexuality. God WANTS you to enjoy sex. Have sex all you want! But He will only allow you to have sex with one person in a lifelong committed union until that union is disolved by the death of you or your spouse. As far as your past is concerned, take all of your sins to the feet of the Father, apologize to Him for it from the bottom of your heart, ask for His forgiveness (which He WILL give to you), let it go and seek to be obedient from that time on. If you stumble and disobey Him, go to Him immediately and confess it to Him and deal with it. If you have a great desire for sex (as most men do) then seek a mate. Ask the Lord to help you find a mate or to bring one to you. Be patient because two things will be happening here. First, you must give the Lord time to reorganize the entire universe for you to direct another person's path to you (yes, that is EXACTLY what He does for His children). And second, God may take whatever time He deems necessary to test your resolve to be obedient and faithful. If you cannot be faithful to Him by abstaining from fornication, how can you possibly expect Him to trust you to stay faithful to your mate? God sets His people on a higher standard than the people of the world. God expects you to RESIST temptation, regardless of how powerful it is. Plus, you have an enemy. The Devil. He can sniff and smell your raging hormones like a dog, and he will hurl temptations against you to cause you to fall and disobey the Father. Satan knows all the ins and outs of human sexuality and he will take advantage of it. You are a target automatically, because Satan dwells in darkness and you have the Light of Christ in you - and Satan can see that Light in the darkness. And he will attack. Be prepared by being in constant communication with the Father, through prayer, worship, Scripture study, and fellowshipping with other believers. Learn some godly songs, or make up songs, and sing them to the Lord, "for the Lord INHABITS the praises of His people."
My former partner also married a woman when he was young - at 15. He lived in a very small town in Kentucky and he was very afraid that anyone would discover that he was gay. And he was also afraid to admit to himself that he was gay. He even has a son now, though he divorced his wife at 21 when he could no longer hide who he truly was. God understands all that, and while He is not happy when such things occur, He is overjoyed to be able to heal disasters we create for ourselves when we submit those disasters to Him. There ain't nothing He hasn't seen.
But why does God seem to make such a big stinking deal about sex, and why do PEOPLE make such a big deal out of it? The Bible actually explains this. It says that all sins that we commit are deeds done OUTSIDE of our bodies - but sex is something we bring INTO our bodies, into the very temple of the Holy Spirit. When you commit a sexual sin, such as fornication, adultery, rape, bestiality, etc, you are specifically bringing that filth into God's home. But sex is holy before God when your penis is being inserted into YOUR MATE, or vice versa. If the person is not your mate, you have made an unlawful entry. You are tresspassing. Why? Because the sex act forms an instant contract, or "covenant", making two people into one Person. You violate that covenant when you share your genitals with someone who is not your mate, or if someone who is not your mate shares their genitals with you. If you do not have a mate, then your covenant stands with the Father. And just like at all weddings, the father releases his covenant with you when he gives your hand in marriage to a mate, thus creating a whole new covenant and permanently binding contract until death - for you are God's property until death, and if He is going to give you away to someone else, it must also be unto death. Beyond death, you return to God for eternity by faith in Jesus.
All of these point are the same for both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Live righteously and holy before the Father and He will bless you. Protect your body. It is precious to the Lord. He DIED so that it could be resurrected again.
I hope this was helpful to you. I'm here for you if there is anything you want to talk about.
God bless you!
Rev. Jim Cunningham
Brothers and Sisters,
From time to time I like to share with our group emails that I have received and responded to that I believe may help others out there who might be stuggling with the same, or similar issue. Here is another such email. For the sake of the author's privacy, his name has been changed to "Adam". If you have any comment, insight or input, you know we are all ears.
May Jesus our Savior lift you up and give you peace,
Rev. Jim
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Rev. Jim
Greetings,
First, thanks for taking the time to put up so much great information on your site. I learned a lot and I am sure I will be referring back to it often. I have a question for you...
Is creating an abomination the same as blasphemy?
I accepted Christ at a young age. Got married (thought it was the right thing to do) and spiraled down from there. I am now in the steps to bring my life back on track, but have I through constant fornication created an unpardonable sin? Can God forgive me for in essence turning my back on Him when I should have known better?
Thanks, Adam
Hi Adam,
It's so great to hear from you, and it means a lot to me to know that GayChristianSurvivors.com has helped you in some way. About your questions......
Abomination and blasphemy are two different things. An abomination is something that is particularly "offensive" to God, such as human sacrifices. Blasphemy is a direct verbal assault against God or His Word, such as mocking God or saying vile things about God or tampering with the Scriptures. Jesus tells us that ALL sins, ALL abominations and ALL blasphemies are forgivable.....except one: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit cannot be forgiven in this life nor in the life to come. The Bible indicates the following as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit:
To lie specifically to the Holy Spirit
To specifically accuse the Holy Spirit of wickedness
To specifically attribute an evil identity to the Holy Spirit
To speak evil specifically of the Holy Spirit
To add or delete any words to or from the Scriptures
God does not consider being angry at Him, disrespecting Him, or disobeying Him as blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Those are serious sins, to be sure. But a person really has to go out of their way to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, such as when the Pharisees accused Jesus of having an "evil spirit" - and since the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Jesus, they blasphemed the Holy Spirit. But bear in mind that those Pharisees KNEW that Jesus was righteous and that He did not have an evil spirit. They outright blasphemed, with all willful intent, the Holy Spirit which dwelt in Jesus. If you are even worried that you might have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, then you DIDN'T, because if you had, you wouldn't care. The Holy Spirit would have left you and you would have no desire to seek and do His will.
Committing fornication - no matter how many times you did it - is not blasphemy, and it certainly is not the unpardonable sin, which is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Fornication is sin, and all sins are punishable by damnation whether you told a white lie or you committed mass murder. But when Jesus died on the cross, He took your sin AND your punishment upon Himself so that you are now CLEAN of the sin. And now, whenever you sin, you can go to the Father and seek forgiveness for any sin through belief in Jesus' sacrifice for you. Now, of course, that isn't a license to keep on sinning. God expects you to not only confess your sin to Him, but to REPENT of that sin. "Repent" means "to turn back from". That is, to STOP doing it.
However, the Lord also knows you PERSONALLY and He knows your situation. He knows where you've come from, He knows what you have suffered, and He knows your desires. When we continue to commit a certain sin, like fornication, God takes into account everything He knows about you and is able to grant you mercy and He is able to be patient with you. You may think you're an adult, but you will always be the Father's baby boy, and He adores you because you loved His Son and believed His Gospel! Since you fear the Lord, as everyone ought to, you will be urged by the Holy Spirit to stop fornicating. That is what a good Father does. This is what you are feeling when you start to feel guilty before God about your sin. It is the Lord's way of bringing it to your attention - not to beat you over the head with it and scream "look what you did, you filthy scum!" - but so that He can express His pain for what you did against Him and so that the sin can be dealt with and washed away. There is more involved that just STOPPING fornication. There is an underlying reason WHY you continue to fornicate, and THIS is the area the Holy Spirit wants to target and heal. You cannot be saved by doing certain deeds, and therefore you cannot be saved by CEASING to do certain deeds. Your salvation is completely based on faith in Jesus. However, you are the Temple of the Holy Spirit, and He requires a clean throne room. You wont be saved just because you stopped fornicating. Any heathen can stop fornicating. But do you really want the Holy Spirit to come to you - His temple - and find it desecrated with filth? Of course not. And He's not gonna stick around and live in a filthy home, either.
Here's some tips to help you avoid fornication:
Dump those pornos! A believer has no business filling his mind with sexual images of other nude people who are not his spouse. Your genitals are called "privates" for a reason - it is the private place for your mate, the one place in all the world that is his secret, private place. Besides, why would you want to have something like that around which will only tempt you further?
Avoid tempting scenerios! If you know that you're probably going to go home with someone from a bar or night club, then don't go. If you want to go out to dance and maybe have a drink or two, go with friends so that the focus is on having fun with them, and not on getting laid. Steer clear of places that you know the Lord would disapprove of. Rule of thumb: if your traditional great grandma would be disgusted by the place, more than likely so will God.
Do not be alone in private with someone that you know there's a chance that you might sleep with. Keep your relationship faithful by staying in public or by having other friends around. If the two of you think you would like to be "more than friends", do not set yourself up to be tempted to go beyond low key intimacy, such as kissing and hand holding. "Petting" is NOT acceptable. Petting is simply foreplay - arousing each other - which is reserved for your marriage union only. Only fools think they can start the launch sequence and not blast off!
Watch your mouth. What you say and what you listen to can also lead you where you should not go. Refrain from filthy conversations.
Masturbation. This is the all time biggest debate issue. All I can do is tell you what I personally believe on this point. The Bible says virtually NOTHING about it. There was a man named Onan in the Bible who was required by God to father a child with a woman, but the Bible says he did not want to be the father and so he pulled out of her at the last moment and ejaculated on the ground. God struck him dead for not creating that child. This had nothing to do with masturbation. Personally, I am in FAVOR of masturbation as an extremely effective way to prevent fornication. Enjoying sexual stimulation, in and of itself, is NOT a sin. If you are masturbating simply for the pleasure and the sexual release, I do not believe it is sin. What IS sin, however, is what goes on in your mind while you are doing it! Jesus said that what you lust after (fantasize about) in your heart and mind is the EQUIVILLANT to doing it physically. So, if you need to masturbate, focus on your hand, on your genitals, on the sensations, and (if you have one) your mate- and do NOT focus on anyone else.
If you are feeling aroused or become aroused and this could lead to fornication - leave immediately. Do not torture yourself by being in such an extremely tempting situation. Once you are aroused there is a CHEMICAL REACTION taking place in your body and this can OVER-RIDE good judgment. The body is programed and designed BY GOD to initiate sexual contact when it has been aroused to the point of chemical firing. It is not a conscious function of the body. It only knows that it's sexual systems have been activated, and it will seek to reach orgasm whether you want to or not. This can literally BLIND your sense of morals - and yes, even get you to force God out of your mind - because the body automatically assumes you are being aroused by your MATE!
In addition, the Lord provides you many tips and instructions to cope with tempations of fornication. God does not require you to marry IF you can refrain from fornication, but He has provided marriage as the outlet for your sexuality. God WANTS you to enjoy sex. Have sex all you want! But He will only allow you to have sex with one person in a lifelong committed union until that union is disolved by the death of you or your spouse. As far as your past is concerned, take all of your sins to the feet of the Father, apologize to Him for it from the bottom of your heart, ask for His forgiveness (which He WILL give to you), let it go and seek to be obedient from that time on. If you stumble and disobey Him, go to Him immediately and confess it to Him and deal with it. If you have a great desire for sex (as most men do) then seek a mate. Ask the Lord to help you find a mate or to bring one to you. Be patient because two things will be happening here. First, you must give the Lord time to reorganize the entire universe for you to direct another person's path to you (yes, that is EXACTLY what He does for His children). And second, God may take whatever time He deems necessary to test your resolve to be obedient and faithful. If you cannot be faithful to Him by abstaining from fornication, how can you possibly expect Him to trust you to stay faithful to your mate? God sets His people on a higher standard than the people of the world. God expects you to RESIST temptation, regardless of how powerful it is. Plus, you have an enemy. The Devil. He can sniff and smell your raging hormones like a dog, and he will hurl temptations against you to cause you to fall and disobey the Father. Satan knows all the ins and outs of human sexuality and he will take advantage of it. You are a target automatically, because Satan dwells in darkness and you have the Light of Christ in you - and Satan can see that Light in the darkness. And he will attack. Be prepared by being in constant communication with the Father, through prayer, worship, Scripture study, and fellowshipping with other believers. Learn some godly songs, or make up songs, and sing them to the Lord, "for the Lord INHABITS the praises of His people."
My former partner also married a woman when he was young - at 15. He lived in a very small town in Kentucky and he was very afraid that anyone would discover that he was gay. And he was also afraid to admit to himself that he was gay. He even has a son now, though he divorced his wife at 21 when he could no longer hide who he truly was. God understands all that, and while He is not happy when such things occur, He is overjoyed to be able to heal disasters we create for ourselves when we submit those disasters to Him. There ain't nothing He hasn't seen.
But why does God seem to make such a big stinking deal about sex, and why do PEOPLE make such a big deal out of it? The Bible actually explains this. It says that all sins that we commit are deeds done OUTSIDE of our bodies - but sex is something we bring INTO our bodies, into the very temple of the Holy Spirit. When you commit a sexual sin, such as fornication, adultery, rape, bestiality, etc, you are specifically bringing that filth into God's home. But sex is holy before God when your penis is being inserted into YOUR MATE, or vice versa. If the person is not your mate, you have made an unlawful entry. You are tresspassing. Why? Because the sex act forms an instant contract, or "covenant", making two people into one Person. You violate that covenant when you share your genitals with someone who is not your mate, or if someone who is not your mate shares their genitals with you. If you do not have a mate, then your covenant stands with the Father. And just like at all weddings, the father releases his covenant with you when he gives your hand in marriage to a mate, thus creating a whole new covenant and permanently binding contract until death - for you are God's property until death, and if He is going to give you away to someone else, it must also be unto death. Beyond death, you return to God for eternity by faith in Jesus.
All of these point are the same for both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Live righteously and holy before the Father and He will bless you. Protect your body. It is precious to the Lord. He DIED so that it could be resurrected again.
I hope this was helpful to you. I'm here for you if there is anything you want to talk about.
God bless you!
Rev. Jim Cunningham